Stacey: I'm sitting between 2 Jeremys.
Jeremy F.: It's more Jeremy than some people can handle.

"They just left you with a carrot and a litter box."

-Jeremy F. to Jeremy Z.

"Here's a box of sawdust. Do something."

-Jeremy Z., following off of Jeremy F.'s gag

"It's the Hamburglar!"

-Jeremy F., on Lentaro's muttering rescuers

"Congratulations, you're being sprung by the Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers."

-Andy

Stacey: My character was going to find out more about that woman at the thing.
Cort: Miss "Spacey"?

Cort: It's a sort of congo line of dark hooded figures.
Andy: It's jawas!

Theron (trying to explain why he's been tied upside down to a tree): I seem to have come-
Andy: I'm a bit tied up right now.
Stacey: Will you stop that!!

Father Phillip: I see.
Cort: He says "I see" in a way only a priest can say it.

"The late, late Lord Fumaris."

-Aaron

"I'm very disturbed that I got disturbed."

-Stacey

Aaron: Yes, I believe in visions.
Cort: Do you believe in them when you're naked and covered in butter?

"Wow... happy sharing Amberites."

-Cort

"I will not have another war."

-Flora

"If the rest of Gérard is the same size as... the rest of Gérard, you won't be waking up."

-Cort

Jeremy F.: He's preening himself!
Jeremy Z.: Hey!

"You're starched within an inch of your life."

-Cort to Stacey

Flora (regarding Len): Does he have... fingers?
Aaron: Yes.
Flora: Oh, good.

"I understand deranged cultists."

-Theron, to Lentaro (which Lentaro somehow managed not to comment on)

Cort (describing the tea party): It seems to be a primarily female thing.
Andy (whose character is a guest): Hey!

"`Pomp and Scrutiny'. All my events have names."

-Cort

"She had her teeth just tuned."

-Andy, regarding Kalissera (however the deuce you spell it)

"Outside of the exploding part, how do you like our city?"

-Llewella

"Vialle - the Betty Ford Clinic of Amber."

-Andy

Aaron: You were right.
Dalen: I'm right about a lot of things. What?

Dalen: So, it has something to do with the ambassador.
Jeremy Z. (wincing slightly): Payback's a bitch, isn't it?

"You feel as though you've been analyzed and dismissed as not particularly important."

-Cort, to Jeremy F., commenting on Theron's reaction

"I might as well be Grotto the Dog at this point."

-Andy

Jeremy Z. (while weilding a knife): I'm ready to deal with Dalen.
Cort: You'll need a bigger knife.

"Okay, your three meals arrive and they've all been replaced with large salads."

-Cort, about Aaron's breakfast

"That's right, she has all the intelligence of an Amberite, and she really has nothing better to do."

-Cort, about Flora

"Not only her teeth, but her breasts have been recently tuned."

-Katherine, about Klissera

Aaron (regarding Klissera): I look at her, look down at her basket...
Jeremy Z. (in a deep voice): Give in to the dark side.

"Breast related sound effects!"

-Cort

Andy: Mental note: From no on, trust fools.
Jeremy Z.: Oh, that reminds me, I need to see Aaron later.

Aaron: She's as blank as a washboard at this point.
Jeremy Z.: But not built like one!

"I hear the scream of a tavern girl!"

-Jeremy F., regarding Dalen

"Her spit actually cleans things."

-Cort, regarding Flora

"You see the force that is Flora..."

-Cort

Katherine: She'll be keeping her eye open for--
Jeremy F.: Maladin?
Katherine: No, you'll get yours soon.

"I'm just a simple tavern wench! I don't know nothing about birthing no Patterns!"

-Katherine

Maladin: Ah, Dalen.
Dalen (sharply): That's "Lady Dalen" to you.
Maladin: I'm sorry, Lady Dalen. (suggestively) It must have been a long night.
Katherine prevents a spit take, only to drool on herself.
Jeremy Z. proceeds to laugh so hard at that he almost chokes to death on his food.

"Trump contact! It's large, and has headlights. You think it's got a Nebraska plate."

-Cort, to Jeremy F.

"I hear you 'zip-zip-zing'."

-Fiona

"We're so luscious and creamy! We'll give you a sugar high like you've never had before."

-Cort, doing the voice of a jar of Marshmellow Cream

Andy: So we're not supposed to be nasty?
Katherine: Like that would stop you?
Jeremy Z.: We'll just be sending more notes. There won't be any overt nastiness.

"Maid! Maid! My little buppy-kins is cold!"

-Flora

"Filled with saccharine. Causes cancer in lab rats."

-Andy, regarding Flora

Flora: Now you stay in bed. I'll have Gérard tie you down if I have to.
Andy: That is not going on the list. I will break the hand holding the pencil!!

"GM's note to Lentaro: You better hope he doesn't like the fuzzy."

-Cort, commenting on a post from Amber List

"To boldly go where no hamster has gone before!"

-Jeremy F.

Andy: They have the Blue PC Aura.
Cort: Is that anything like the blue "Housekeeping Seal of Approval"?

"If we were to do a trump of you, would it have to be on velvet so it's fuzzy?"

-Andy, about Lentaro

Cort (to Dalen): There's a sort of fuzzing out, and it seems like it's only a few seconds-
Jeremy Z.: You wake up and your clothes are inside out.

Cort (to Dalen): You get a note back from Michael saying he'd love to have dinner.
Jeremy Z. (suggestively): Oooooh...
Cort: Just because you have nothing fuzzy to date...
Jeremy Z.: I'm told there are fine prospects in the southern provinces.

Jeremy F.: I'm going to retrieve the half body.
Cort: He's been a bit gnawed on.
Jeremy F.: I brought a tarp, by the way.
Cort: Did you bring a Jell-O mold?

Katherine (reading another vision): Oh, geez Cort!
Jeremy F.: The One True Porn Star strikes again!

"Note: she was naked in bed."

-Cort, after Dalen drew her sword from "nowhere"

"Whoa..."

-Everyone all at once on hearing about the size of the army

(the next bit is all in a stage whisper)
Katherine (about Sh'shari): She's scary!
Jeremy F.: So why did you go?
Katherine: Because I wanted to find out what was going on!
Andy: Well, now you know, and now it's scary!

"I'm Galen. I will be your torturer tonight."

-Jeremy F.

"Quick! Suspect foul play! It's the last episode!"

-Andy

"I hear Bleys and Gérard went fishing last night. They caught the biiiiggest trout you've ever seen. I hear Fiona's going to ream his brain."

-Llewella

"Gérard, if Flora touches my plate, spank her."

-Bleys

"Well. That was petulant."

-Fiona, to Aaron

"So you took your normal Pattern Imprint and tried to bend it into the Warped Pattern, and you want to know why it almost killed you?"

-Fiona, to Aaron again

"I suppose our Pattern is the Earth Pattern because we keep it in the basement."

-Fiona, to Aaron, in a Fiona Quote Marathon

Maladin (to Random): I'd like to speak to you in private.
Jeremy Z.: I got a girl pregnant. I don't know what to do!
Cort: He'd love a problem that simple.

"Clang-clang-clang. Can somebody pick this lock? I need a sugar bun!"

-Cort doing a rendition of Aaron

Jeremy F. (about the Wonder Trump): Does it cost extra to watch you do this?
Andy: Yes.
Cort: This is the One True Gay Porno.

"Hang on. I'm about to try something stupid."

-Aaron

Random: Sounds like the prologue to a bad Harlequin novel.
Andy: That's so fitting for Dalen.

"I don't want to pull just the brain through. It's useless to me!"

-Andy, while trying to rescue Maladin

"Okay, she gets the big I-Fucked-With-Your-Head award."

-Cort, after talking to Katherine in private

"Thunk. Wiggle-wiggle."

-Andy, doing his impression of "psychic contact", with accompanying hand gestures

"I found while writing my journal more and more things to complain about Dalen."

-Andy

"I just had this vision of just Flora's bosom coming out."

-Andy, as overheard by confused people in the other room

"Screw you all for teasing me about sticky buns! They're good!"

-Andy, as we all praise him for bringing cinnabon

"It's still here. It's gotten smaller. But it's still here. Demons come out at night and nibble on it. Marshmallow demons are very scary."

-Cort, on the continued presence of a jar of marshmallow cream

"Pillsbury doughboys of doom! *cute/evil cackle* A little army of darkness."

-Cort, on Andy's plot to use sticky buns to subvert the people of Amber

"30 seconds into the game, and I'm already knocked unconscious."

-Andy

"Mind you, I'm now a comatose piece of lard, but at least I didn't talk."

-Andy

Random: We cannot arrest the lord of a major house on the basis of "He made me walk his magic fire Pattern while dead."
Aaron: You make it sound so trivial.

"If you say 'Oh, it's nothing' I'm going to hurt you."

-Aaron

Aaron (to Dalen): WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Maladin: You want me to play the "good cop"?
Andy pauses and then loses it.

Andy: I even wrote in my history that my mother made me take chorus.
Flora: Oh, but you looked so cute in that robe!

"The tavern wench in me is overwhelmed."

-Kath

"Oooh, Random's new favorite. Our war correspondent. Reporting from Helmwind, this is Maladin."

-Lore

Maladin: I didn't know I was Random's new favorite.
Aaron: You have been doing a lot of things with him...

Lentaro: Are you okay? Do you need a hug?
Aaron: No.
Lentaro: I'm told hugging fuzzy things is very theraputic.
Aaron: I don't want to hug your fuzzy thing.

Orderly: So can I get the patients' names?
Aaron: Maladin, you take care of this. (He leaves.)
Orderly (to Maladin): Okay, so what are the patients' names?
Maladin (looking after the departed Aaron): Um, they're, uh Rhyss, why don't you handle this.

"Joanna... We've been working on a plan to rescue Dalen and Len, and it all hinges on you risking your life."

-Jeremy Z.

Andy: So what do we have today?
Jeremy F.: Fudge.
Cort: That's pretty much describes our game so far...

Andy (regarding the dip Kath brought): What is it?
Kath: Goop.
Cort: Angry. Don't piss it off.

"She's confused your robe with Maladin's pants."

-Cort, regarding the typo in the previous quote list, where Flora opined on how "cut" Aaron looked in his choir robe

"Okay, you two are having a romantic evening sniffing helipads."

-Cort

"This is Maladin, reporting from Shadow Earth. We fucked up!! Aaron has found the handle and he's preparing to flush."

-Jeremy F.

Kath: I'm just looking dazed and slack.
Andy: Not hard for Dalen.
Kath: Don't start.

Kath (regarding the pain of the IV being inserted): That hurt more than the bullet.
Cort: Nnnno.

"What do you mean an orbital laser took out my armor?"

-Jeremy F.

"We tried to find a smaller girl to beat you up, but we were on short notice."

-Andy

"Just because you're avoiding death is no excuse."

-Andy

"You think that's Maladin, but where are his pants?"

-Cort

"Oh, yeah. He's naked. And it is fuzzy."

-Cort, to Kath, regarding Lentaro

"They knew I was Christian! They went straight for the underwear!"

-Jeremy F., dragging out a bad joke

Andy: The jewel's on a towel, a mai thai next to it. Sucking it down. A beautiful girl next to it. "I didn't know you spoke French."
Jeremy F.: Who says diamonds are a girl's best friend?

"Maladin, you're a Christian. We all know Caine's a sailor."

-Andy, but I don't remember why.

"I'll have to make a me to watch it, and I hate it when there's two of me."

-Dworkin

"People will be numb for inches around that spot."

-Cort

"He's almost cute when he's sleeping."

-Cort, regarding Aaron

"If I found some 'shit kickers', I may be set."

-Maladin, learning English

"Aaron, time to outrun some more laser beams."

-Maladin

Raphaela (responding to a knock at her door): Yes?
Aaron: I thought I heard a rumble.
Raphaela: I think I opened a doorway into Hell.

"Aaron's in bed, and he's fondling him."

-Cort, regarding Maladin

"I'm cute. Gotta love me."

-Andy

"I raise the Pattern. I immolate her."

-Andy

"I'll take a giant lizard against a New York hospital any day."

-Maladin

Cort (regarding Dalen): She turns into a large dog.
Andy: There's a line running through my head right now that I'm not going to use.

Dalen: Do you have a scrying lens in your pocket?
Cort: Is that a scrying lens in your pocket, or...?

(A small child has the Jewel of Judgement, and subconsciously summons Darth Vader to protect him)
Maladin: You can psychically contact him through his dreams.
Aaron: Right. Hold him off while I try that.

Cort (regarding the Stormtroopers): You see a lot of white armored troops moving through the doorways.
Andy: I hated this movie in the theater.

Cort: Okay, you start randomly mutating people.
All: *groan*
Andy: Don't worry, I'll fix it.

"This is my world now."

-Andy, in his own pocket universe

Aaron (still in his own pocket universe): He doesn't have the jewel.
Maladin: And... we're the only ones here.

Aaron (with a Bright Pattern initiate): You wanted your vaccine, here's your test subject.
Maladin: But we needed a waverider.
Aaron: Yeah, but we still have a test subject.

"I had to do rochambeau to Indiana Jones."

-Andy

"I had to take a divet out of Shadow Earth."

-Andy

Cort: I wonder how CNN is going to cover this.
Jeremy Z.: We're here at the edge of the crater, Wolf. Reality has ceased to exist about three feet away. It's pretty creepy. Back to you.

Maladin: It's okay Aaron...
Aaron: Noi'mfinedon'ttouchme.

"I love it when Dalen is brainwashed. It's so sexy."

-Andy

Jeremy F. (running NPCs): I try to direct the tortoise towards the child.
Andy: You are so not cool anymore.

Jeremy F. (as Andy's about to leave his pocket universe): What about me!?
Andy: Oh, you wanna come?

"I'm in Helmwind. Having a blast. Wish you were here."

-Fiona

"I need to talk to Random, then I need to go back to Earth. I did a boo-boo."

-Andy

Kath: I'm back into dog form. Cute, fluffy eared dog form.
Andy: Oh, you slut.
Kath: Well, if it works...
Andy: Work it, Benji! Work it!

(Compiler's Note: Many thanks to Jeremy F. for contributing some of these quotes. I realized after beginning that I didn't have nearly as many as normal. The order of the quotes is no real reflection of the order they occurred.)

Cort: That's okay. I'll just write you off as a bitch and a ho.
Jeremy F.: I'd be upset if that wasn't true.

Lentaro (to Dalen): And I had a proposition for you.
Jeremy F.: We all know Dalen's the one to talk to about that.

"There are too many people in my head. I don't know which one you're talking to."

-Jeremy F.

Lentaro: Dalen, my proposition for you-
Rhyss: Should I leave the room?

Joanna (?): So, Len was wondering about that whole turtle thing.
Jeremy F.: Yeah, but was it a snapping turtle?

Jeremy F. (making jokes about Len's proposition): I was just thinking, I'm fuzzy...
Jeremy Z.: ...and you could be.

"(in a high pitched voice) No! No! I am resisting! I am resisting!"

-Cort, as Maladin's puny psyche

"You've picked up Aaron's panache for suicidal effects."

-Cort, to Jeremy Z.

Joanna: Can we tell what time it was?
Cort: You think it was roughly-
Jeremy F.: An opportune time.

Niro (looking over the quivering Jelly form of Lentaro): Yeah!!!!!!
Niro (after Len is taken from him): Ahhhhhhhh, drats!!!!!! Foiled again!!!

Cort: Are you going to start gesturing for a spell?
Jeremy F.: No. I don't want to die.

Cort (as Maladin): "I'm naked."
Joanna (regarding Len): That's okay he's sticky.

"If I could make Joanna snort water out her nose, I would just sit back and smile the rest of the night."

-Jeremy F.

"So she's under Lore's... power."

-Maladin, trying to nominate Rhyss as the new Patron Whore of Amber

"You see, I rip on Maladin first, that way I can target the rest of you from then on."

-Jeremy F.

"(in a high pitched voice) Behold my awesome power! Eh!"

-Cort, as Maladin's puny psyche

Dalen: ...after our armies meet in the morning.
Galen: An attack in the morning? I see.
Dalen: (scrambling) well, I don't have any connection to the military.. err, I just mean that something is bound to happen soon.

"Everything's gone the way I thought it would: poorly."

-Jeremy F.

"I hate it when my players are faster than me."

-Cort

Dalen: So what happened?
Len: I've been ordered to kill you and suck your Pattern out of you.
Dalen: What?!
Len: Just kidding.

Len: We are going to do something stupid and dangerous and we need your help.
Rhyss: Only if you have a few moments to try something stupid and dangerous that I have just found.
Len (chuckling): But of course.

Jeremy Z.: I explain to Rhyss my conspiracy theories regarding Lore.
Cort: He basically thinks that Lore is this sinister and evil person that had you trapped. However, Lore did have a valid reason for you being there, he was very polite, and his cookies were quite good.

"Could we have a minute before doing something stupid?"

-Rhyss

"I actually got sleep last night. You are all screwed."

-Cort

Jeremy Z. (to Cort): So does Rhyss seem as tasty as these two? (indicating Dalen and Aaron)
Cort: Oh, yeah.
Jeremy Z.: But is it the same sort of tasty, or different?
Cort: Yeah, it's different.
Andy: We're sorta nougat and she's sorta nutty?
Cort: It's like white meat vs. dark meat. She's sort of moist and spongy. It still tastes like chicken, but different...
Joanna: I have no idea what you guys are talking about...
Cort: Aaron's like a muffin.
Jeremy Z.: Or a sticky bun?
Cort: He's got sprinkles and everything.

"I want to bottom for your game."

-Cort, on wanting to get screwed over by someone else for a change

"We have a support group against you."

-Andy, to Cort

Kath (as everyone laughs about what Jeremy F. wrote regarding Dalen): What did you write about Dalen?
Jeremy F. (indignantly): The truth!

"All my reconstruction resulted in paving."

-Andy

Kath: Do you want to take-
Joanna: Ooo, a field trip?!

"Hello. Are you here to see the dead place too?"

-Raphaella

"Anything you can squeal, I can squeal better..."

-Cort

Cort: You're all Patterny. It explains that nutty flavor.
Jeremy Z.: Oh... that reminds me.
Aaron: Millions of shadows away, Len is thinking, "Hmm... hungry..."

Jeremy F.: I'm hard on the outside but soft on the inside.
Andy (while pretending to shake stuff from his hand): Yeah, you have a bunch of seeds in here too.

"I'm petulant and creepy! Cool!"

-Andy

Maladin: I'm not like Dalen. In many ways.
Cort: I have naughty bits. She doesn't.

Kath (to Jeremy F. and Andy): You guys are scary. You think Dalen is scary, but you are scary.
Jeremy Z.: Excuse me. Who just went to hell?

Cort (on Aaron's mental pillaging of Maladin): You can feel the probe against your ass, but not in your ass.
Jeremy F.: More lubricant! More lubricant!
Andy: Sorry it's so cold.
Cort: Actually, it's warm since it was just there.
Jeremy F. (as Maladin has a dagger to Aaron's throat): Back off sweet buns! Or I'll do some probing of my own.

"Hey! That's my arm! Gimme that!"

-either Andy or Jeremy F.

Cort (after Maladin and Aaron reform): You're not the same selves you were before.
Aaron: Am I buff?
Jeremy F.: Now you're Christian!

"I get ready to bunny strike."
"Fur's gonna fly!"
"I'm hopping mad!"

-expletives from Jeremy F. after being turned into a bunny

"Little bunny Maladin goes hopping through the garden, scooping up the Aarons and bopping them on the head..."

-compiler's best guess as to what Jeremy F. was muttering as Bunny Maladin was in the castle gardens

Aaron: He is so much better at Warfare than I am.
Jeremy Z.: Hell, Rhyss is so much better at Warefare than you are.
Jeremy F.: That's low...

Random: We had another family member inspecting his potential...
Andy: Oh, god! It's the Brand lecture!

"Oh my god! He's been tuned!"

-Kath (?)

Andy (about Aaron): He's going back to his room to work up a plan for his harebrained scheme.
Cort: Which one?

"I scoop my brains off the floor."

-Andy

"Buzzing you in, late boy!"

-Cort, to Andy over the phone

Andy (regarding the computer rendering of Dalen's symbol): Your's was the most difficult with all that organic funky stuff.
Cort (muttering): Tell me about it.

Cort: God, if I'd known I was playing today, I'd have gotten drunk.

Andy (describing Aaron to Simone): I'd like to think of myself as being like Fabio.
Cort: Welcome to Fantasy Island!

Andy (regarding Aaron's physique, or lack thereof): He makes up for it by dressing in style.
Kath: Style?
Simone: It's not so much "style" as "theme"...?

Andy (after Simone misread's Jeremy Z.'s chicken scratch regarding Raphaella as "demonic cake"): She's the devil's food, I tell you!

Simone (describing how to find your ass with both hands): If you feel something strange when you squeeze, you found it.

Simone (regarding Dalen): You're being scanned. You have a strap on.
Jeremy Z.: "Strap on" is probably the last thing you want to mention in our game.

"Julian? It's my turn to be untied, Julian"

-Simone

"Suddenly, you have have a physical sensation. And it's not pleasant."

-Simone

Simone (to Cort): Sorry, I left you struggling and thumping.
Cort: That's nothing new to Raphaella.

Jeremy Z. (suggestively, as Simone describes the attire, or lack thereof, of Len and Rhyss): So we're both naked, huh?
Simone: Yeah, but that's probably the last thing on your mind right now.
Andy: Actually, the last thing on your mind is your laundry. The second to last thing is...

"Drive, rat person."

-Raphaella

"Oh, I've got some gravel in there. That'll plug it up."

-Andy, regarding Aaron/Gemmel's puncture wound

"We see the gleam of megalomaniacal power!"

-Cort, as Aaron regains his memories

"Oh, and there is something gooey in there."

-Jeremy F., after everyone had made jokes about his Christmas Gift for Joanna being sexy underwear

"My brain wasn't big enough to make the leap to another body!"

-Jeremy F., on why his character wasn't among the group in the Christmas Special

Jeremy Z. (on the last session): Lentaro's doing the gender math, and it's not working out.
Kath: Sorry, no fuzzies for you.

"Ineedtogathermythings."

-Maladin, evading Lentaro's questions about the bunny incident

Andy: Are you coming with us?
Joanna: Yes.
Andy: Good. (to Jeremy) We got her!
Jeremy F.: Our plan worked. She'll look great with ears this big.

"Yes, Random. Yes, Random. We're spiky, it's all good."

-Llewella

Llewella (on the price on Maladin's head): It's enormous.
Maladin: How fitting.

"I think I want to be somewhere you're not."

-Joanna

"`Who was that?', I say as though I already know."

-Andy

Andy: I'm wondering if I'm mad enough at Lentaro yet.
Jeremy Z.: For what?
Andy: For anything.

Cort: Bubble bath?
Andy: No, not today.
Jeremy F.: "Can I have a bath, mommy?"

"Join the rest of the party on the brink of insanity."

-Cort, to Joanna

"We normally go running screaming through the dark places. Why avoid the shady bits?"

-Cort

Fake Vialle: You brought a doorway to hell into the castle?
Rhyss: Random said it was okay. Maybe it's a Christmas present?
"It's just me. I usually throw dead arms away."

-Fake Vialle

"You can talk to Dalen, the sadly misguided girl, or you can face reality."

-Aaron

"If you don't need a universe destroyed, I can't help."

-Cort, as Aaron

"You went from 'Never call, never write' to 'ulterior motives'."

-Llewella, to Maladin

"You're so cute when you're attempting subterfuge."

-Llewella, also to Maladin

"They're calling him World Destroyer in Court. Random is thinking of de-nutting him."

-Lewella, to Maladin, regarding Aaron

Maladin: We've been working on a plan to make a barrier.
Llewella (on a roll): Against Aaron?

Aaron: Okay. There seems to be something wrong. Lemme...
Joanna: How many times have we heard that before.

"'Oh, you need the-' whatever she calls it."

-Cort, forgetting the name of Llewella sword

"Lady Dalen oh, and Ambassador Lentaro. That explains why she's here."

-Llewella

Dalen (after Len protests about taking the rescued Tellurians to Amber): I don't know where else to go.
Lentaro: I can tell you where to go.

"Aaron, can you open the closet door?"

-Llewella, while holding the magical bacta tank with Maladin in it

"Oh, you brought him? Oh, he's scary!"

-Jeremy F., mocking those who opposed Aaron's presence in Telluria

"They burst through the door with that 'We Are Evil' look on their face."

-Cort

"I am so turned on."

-Andy, after Random uses the Jewel of Judgement to freeze Karma

"Once again, we see the ass of Lord Aaron."

-Cort, on Aaron's fleeing from the battle

Andy: He runs really well.
Cort: You'll lose that extra weight

"Hold on. Let me see if they're dead."

-Aaron, to Benedict

"The sprinkles on top blink at you and the icing says, 'What's wrong, Len?'"

-Andy, mocking Lentaro's Pattern hunger

"Let's just say you'll never be as afraid of Aaron as I am."

-Maladin, while avoiding telling Len about the bunny incident

Cort (reading over the quote list): God. Llewella was a real bitch last Sunday.
Kath: She's like that every time.

Andy (as Dalen): "I have a frog in my throat."
Jeremy Z.: "It crawled in while I was regenerating and I can't get it out!"

"He's rubbing his body against Llewella's bacta tank."

-Cort, on Maladin

"I'm trying on her clothes while she's asleep."

-Jeremy F., regarding Llewella

Kath: Better armor would help.
Andy: Armor would help.
Kath: She has some standard Amber armor.
Andy: Does it have a big target on it?
Kath: Probably.
Cort: Is it a red shirt?

"Do you have any sticky buns?"

-Jeremy F., to Andy, right before producing sticky bun flavored ice cream

"Have you seen your 'Enemies List'? It's a potpourri."

-Cort, to Jeremy F.

"Dalen. The other white meat."

-Jeremy F.

"You are now the dark moonrider. A nightrider, so to speak."

-Cort, on Maladin making his moonrider armor black

"It's a twisty bit, a wiggle, and a something."

-Cort (I believe talking about the tap in Dalen's head)

"Don't give her ping-pong balls."

-Cort, regarding Dalen

"Gosh, I've never resurrected anyone before."

-Andy

Jeremy F.: You can trust me.
Andy: Yes, because I can squish you.

"Worldwrecker indeed. I've seen you in diapers."

-Flora, to Aaron

"Which makes her controlable and predictable, which is what you want in a wife."

-Flora, on Clarissera being in love with Aaron

Kath: Is there some way I can tell Micahel I can't make it to lunch?
Jeremy F.: "I have to see if my destiny is stronger."

"Fortunately, since he's in a whirlwind, he makes a great rotisserie chicken."

-Andy, on Maladin getting fireballed

"Well, that takes care of one of my problems."

-Andy, on Maladin getting captured

"You were the speech writer for the Carter administration, weren't you?"

-Cort, to Kath

Kath (to Andy about Aaron's mad attempt to make a forcefield with the Pattern and the Pattern blade): So are you grounding this whole thing?
Andy: I don't... know...

Andy: Is it like an Oleai hitting my head?
Cort: You don't know. You've never been hit in the head with and Oleai.

"I have made the castle into a giant bug zapper."

-Andy

Cort: You can no longer feel your waist.
Andy: I don't need it.

Andy: "It's the little things in life," Aaron thinks as he stands in the center.
Kath: Sticky buns...
Andy: ...ultimate power...

Dalen: In the name of all Oleai who want peace with Amber, I challenge you to a fair fight.
Andy (whispering): That's a lot better than "You suck!"

Kath: Hopefully--
Andy: You'll live?

"You see a McNugget hanging in the air in front of you."

-Cort, as Lentaro is visited by Aaron's Pattern lens

"Oh my. No one's ever managed to do this before."

-Fiona, on seeing Aaron trapped in the Pattern sword

"Hey. I could be a narrator."

-Andy

Dalen: I don't have much toe movement at the moment.
The Ghost of Aaron Past: That's okay, neither do I.

Dalen: By the way. I'm your aunt.
The Ghost of Aaron Past: What does that mean? Dalen? Dalen? Dalen, what do you mean?

Kath: Maladin got toasted last mission.
Jeremy F.: Well, he asked for it.

Kath (regarding Dalen): I'm surprised she's still alive.
Cort: Well, it's not for lack of trying.

Cort: If you think it sucks for Dalen to heal, you should see what Niro's going through.
Jeremy F.: He just lost his medical, his dental, his salary was cut...

"Wow, thanks guys. So, last time we played, I was a sword."

-Andy, after receiving his birthday present

Andy: It's really short, but I'm a sword.
Jeremy F.: So, it's to the point?

Jeremy F. (adding on to the puns): You're not so dull after all.
Joanna: You just took a stab at it.

"Mother, I'm thin! Are you happy?"

-Jeremy F., as Aaron

"We'll have to put our Pattern lens on mute."

-Kath

Andy: Oh, Dalen, you're the only one that understands.
Cort (as Andy): "I'll kill you last!"

Kath: Don't even class me with Llewella.
Cort: Llewella would appreciate it if you didn't.

Lore: You're in my universe now, little child.
Andy: Yeah, we all know where he got that line from.

Kath: It'd suck if we had to start liking Lore.
Cort: Oh, there's no worry about that.

"I'm a sword. I can keep my lips shut."

-Andy

Dalen: Why don't I leave you with Bleys while I go change.
Cort: Bleys gives you this, "Oh please don't" look.

"I just got up and you know what I like to smell in the morning."

-Llewella

Jeremy Z. (on Cort's complaining about how fat he's been getting): That's just insulting to fat people.
Cort: Give me time, I'll join you.
Andy: Soon, the circle shall be complete.

"What are you doing? Or who?"

-Cort, to Jeremy F.

"You're experiencing a sort of rhythmic blockage."

-Cort, on Dalen trying to trump Maladin

Llewella (in mid-nookie with Maladin): Anything wrong?
Maladin: Just catching my breath.
Llewella: You'll need it.
Jeremy F.: Maladin shows up the next day with another medal.
Andy: What? The Old Spice Endurance Challenge?

"We have lost another to the Land of the Milk-Fed Boys."

-Cort

"A sword appears, followed by a vaguely Fiona-shaped squash."

-Cort, to Maladin

"Things to do. 1. Deal with insanity."

-Cort, reading Aaron's "To Do" list

Jeremy F.: Throw the sword into the Abyss!
Cort (ominously): That would make it angry.

Jeremy Z.: You okay Andy?
Andy: I'm fine. Aaron's not.

"Dalen, having gotten her title, becomes the bitchy nobility she was meant to be. 'You're not pretty enough!'"

-Cort

"Oh dear lord."

-Cort, as Andy passes a LONG note to him

"Now you are caught in the web of Aaron's insanity!"

-Jeremy F.

"There's monkeys everywhere!"

-Andy

Kath: You know how a fire needs oxygen? Is there anything that works like that to Pattern? Could we create a vacuum?
Cort: The Bright Pattern does a good job of it.

Cort (joking about Dalen's possible alliance with the Bright Pattern people): "You get rid of psycho gourd man..."
Jeremy Z.: "...and I'll walk your death Pattern!"

"And it's absolutely certain she's still there, because when you leave something in a cave, it never leaves."

-Cort, as Aaron is probing the mind of one of his monkey men

"I should never have taken him to that island."

-Kath, about Aaron

"Never underestimate the power of a squash again!"

-Jeremy F.

"Mother, I'm evil now."

-Cort, as Aaron

"What are you doing with your new toy and it's ominous vegetable?"

-Cort, to Jeremy-F.-as-voice-of-bad-guys

"Do you know what started all this monkey business?"

-Maladin, using yet another bad pun

"Meanwhile, what do you do with Mr. Prickley and the vegematic?"

-Cort, to Jeremy-F.-as-voice-of-bad-guys

"It's glowing with the light of heaven and a small star."

-Cort

Andy: He just wanted to stop Dalen-
Kath: What did I do?!
Andy: I'll get back to you.

"We're annoyed. Kill something."

-The Gourd of Fiona

"The One True City, laid low by a squash."

-Jeremy F.

"Rrright I say we save that one for last."

-Jeremy Z., about the giant, flame-engulfed clown playing Toho Studios with the city of Amber

"Well, we're gonna fix her later."

-Dalen, about Vialle

"Wow. You one-upped me."

-Aaron, to Dalen

Cort: The gourd is taking on a vaguely Aaron-like form.
Andy: With breasts.

"Actually, Fiona's fairly petite. Flora got the bazongas in the family."

-Cort

"I've always wanted a woman, but this isn't quite what I meant."

-Aaron/Erin, after assuming her new physical form

"I've brought people back from the dead before. It went okay."

-Aaron/Erin

"She didn't give a peep before she went *PAA*!"

-Aaron/Erin

Dalen: This is Aaron in his new body.
Gérard: Yeah... okay.

"I'm in Amber twice! I'll go talk to myself."

-Dworkin, upon noticing the presence of Alan Smithee

Erin: Slowly but surely, people have been coming.
Llewella (who earlier commented on Erin's "methods" for obtaining residents): No pun intended.