Egon's Journal, Part 1I always find it to be a disconcerting feeling to wake up in some place besides your own bed. This is especially the case when you went to bed naked in your own bedroom and then wake up some indefinite time later fully dressed with all suitable accoutrements in a field of grass. Not exactly the thing you want to see after pleasant dreams of home. Pulling myself to my feet, I looked about and realized that the grass I lay in was actually part of a grove, with a circle of standing stones about me, with a stone dais in the center. I also found that I wasn't alone, as four other luckless individuals also were rising in a sleepy fashion. I recognized two of them right away. One was the Lady Lamianna, an exceedingly tall woman with olive skin and almond shaped eyes that I knew to be of the royal house of Amber. The other was the Lord Liem, a burly chap I knew to be one of the honored "guests" from the Courts of Chaos, as per the treaties signed at the end of the Patternfall War. The other two were a complete mystery to me. One appeared to be a rather simple peasant woman with a slightly curved blade at her side, and the other a small boy, probably about ten years old, with what looked like a small dragon perched on his shoulder. What connection I could have to them, or the two I recognized, and why we were all in this grove, was beyond my comprehension. Liem was the first to react, drawing his sword from its sheath and moving so his back was against one of the standing stones. Lamianna similarly drew her blade and moved into a defensible position. I figured that if anyone was going to kill me, they would have done it while I was drooling on the lawn, and so I left my weapon, Carnifex, sheathed. Besides which, I didn't want to signal the fact that I was probably as frightened as everyone else. Instead, I moved to investigate the dais. Instead of the troughs for the channeling of blood of sacrifices, which I had fully expected, I instead found an arrangement of what appeared to be fortune telling cards, much like those employed by the royalty of Amber. The central card, which I'm told indicates the central figure in the question one hopes to answer with the cards, was a card depicting Amber, with a similar card depicting the Courts of Chaos lying across the top of it. Below Amber was the card Justice, inverted. To the left was the Ace of Wands. To the right was Judgement. Crowning the whole thing was Death. I'm not an expert on fortune telling, but all in all, I'd have to say that bodes ill for the Amberites. I felt a summoning of power over to my side, and Liem had brought up a writhing, multichromatic sigil before him that I could only assume was the Sign of Chaos: the Logrus. I added that one to my mental note pad. If it was anything like the powers I possess, he was likely using it as a lens to regard the area before him. As I watched, he extended a tendril out to explore past the circle of stones, and was rewarded for his efforts with a jolt that ran along the tendril and caused him to lose the image of the Logrus before him. As I turned back to regarding the cards, I felt a presence loom over me, and I fought off the urge to react. I'm not a tall man, being only 5 and a half feet tall, and I detest it when anyone chooses to regard something by looking over my head. With a measure of nonchalance, I moved away to examine the boundary of the circle, noting that the looming culprit was the Amberite, Lamianna. File that one under "Petty Revenge". As I walked to the edge of the circle, I noted that Lamianna had bent down to pass a hand over the cards, and I wondered belatedly if they were trumps. Probing slightly with my hand at the spot where the tendril went "zap", I found a healthy degree of resistance. Charming. Turning back to the happy assembly closer towards the center of the circle, I arrived just in time for introductions. As I said, I knew Liem and Lamianna both by name, and I soon found that the boy was named Pete, and his draconian companion was named Ignius. The peasant woman, who had been relatively quiet up until now was named Aeron. I regarded them carefully, but given the near infinite nature of shadow, they could have been from nearly anywhere. I introduced myself simply as Egon. Lamianna collected the card for Amber, from the spread, and Liem the card for Chaos. Pete seemed interested in the remaining cards, but offered, "Does anyone else want one?" I was feeling a bit morbid and melodramatic, and initially wanted to claim Death for my own, but I felt that it was a bit too cliché and instead chose Judgement, and slipped it gently into my pocket. As I did so, Lamainna then announced that she had been able to reach Amber through the card for Amber, and invited any who wanted to step through. While Amber wasn't high on my list of destinations, it was better than staying here. Especially since that's where I'd last rested my weary head. Pete and Aeron apparently had no where better to go either, since they wanted to go through. Liem, being a... guest in Amber felt obliged to go there, for fear of an international incident. So we dutifully lined up and disappeared in a prismatic blur, reappearing in the courtyard of Castle Amber. As everyone wanted to freshen up, Lamianna proposed dinner at her room that evening. Not being one to pass up a free meal from a lovely lady, I instantly agreed, and set off out to the city to the embassy that I was staying at. I'm sorry if I'm tardy in introductions, but I am Lord Egon Weishaupt, a noble of the Golden Circle shadow of Weirmonken, attached to the Weirmonken embassy in the kingdom of Amber. The embassy has fallen on hard times of late, given that after the Patternfall War the structure of shadow was jumbled, and our humble home disappeared. I'd been trying of late to gain an audience with Amber's new King, Random, but to no avail. So I came to the small manor that served for my homeland's embassy, giving my silent regards to the heraldic black wolf that stood in profile on the red banners of the embassy, with a bit more vocal greeting to our guards. Mounting the stairs to my rooms, I stripped out of the outfit I was wearing and picked out something a bit more formal for the evening's dining, and regarded myself in the mirror. As I said before, I'm short of stature, and to top it off, I'm also slender of build, with a broad mouth and rough features that I prefer to think of lending a bit of character to my face. Of late I've been cutting my hair short, trimmed close on the sides, but longish on top. To go with the look I've spent the past few years wearing glasses for purely cosmetic purposes. I feel it adds that air of intelligence to any attire. Before heading out, I thought to do a bit of research work regarding my fellow somnambulists. Liem, as I thought, was a guest of the crown of Amber, though "hostage" was perhaps a bit better term. My kingdom had supplied similar hostages to Chaos, all in order to "keep the peace". Lamianna was indeed a noble of Amber, and a daughter of Caine, as best we could figure. She'd last been seen boarding one of Gerard's ships, and so her appearance was perhaps more strange than mine. Alas, I was unable to turn up anything regarding the other two members of our little assemblage, and nothing regarding the circle of stones, either. Even the card, upon examination in the privacy of my rooms through the lens of the Dark Well proved to be nothing more than a fortune telling card. I see I've struck upon something that may need further explanation. In addition to being a noble of Weirmonken, I'm also something of a sorcerer. An initiate of the Dark Well, to be precise, which is known among Amberites as the Broken Pattern. From the perspective an Amberite, everything is but a pale reflection of their own glory. Feh. Before I left, I stopped and questioned the guard that had been posted outside of my rooms before I'd gone to sleep. "Yes my lord?" he asked, rather sleepily since I'd woken him up. "Last night, while you were on guard duty, you didn't happen to hear any commotion or see anything strange did you?" Looking rather confused, the guard merely shook his head. Sighing, I bid the guard to go back to sleep, and went back about my business. After conferring with a few more of the staff about general embassy business, I headed out towards Castle Amber once again in order to make my dinner appointment. The thought had occurred to me that I could bring a bottle of wine, but then I remembered I was having dinner with an Amberite. And a low ranking one, at that. No wine for this dinner date. After a brief delay with the guards at the gate, I was escorted up to Lamianna's room, arriving about the same time as Liem. I flashed him a cheesy smile, just before Lamianna opened the door. We entered a found a small repast laid out, with Aeron and Pete already there. Liem and I entered and sat down, and pleasantries were exchanged. Weather and other nonsense, then finally we got down to business. "Do any of you have any idea why someone would want to bring you to that grove? Any enemies that you may have?" We all replied in the negative. Then Lamianna hit upon another idea. Pulling out her deck of trumps, she fanned them and asked us each to pick a card. She led off and drew a trump of Benedict. Liem followed with a trump of Corwin. Pete drew out the Ace of Wands, Aeron drew Justice, and finally I drew out my card: Death. Curses. Foiled. And just when I had hoped to avoid a horrible cliché. A thought occurred to me then. Feeling all sharing and friendly in this spirit of cooperation, I offered it to the group in hopes of coming down to the truth of the matter: "I notice that barring the drawing of Benedict and Corwin by Lamianna and Liem, each of the cards from the tarot reading can easily correspond to each of us. Liem and Lamianna are obviously Chaos and Amber. We three others drew cards that correspond to three of the four cards that were arrayed around the central cards. So then the question. So then the question of who is the fourth card comes up. Who could that be?" Allowing for dramatic pause, I pointing with a manic grin to Pete's dragon, Ignius. Everyone looked at Ignius, but it was Lamianna that killed the mood of discovery by saying in condescending tones to Ignius, "Aw, did you want to be Judgement?" I let my head drop, inwardly resolving to kill any feelings of sharing and friendliness on sight in the future. Then Lamianna piped up with yet another idea, "Why don't we all go down stairs to the main dining hall, and see what kinds of reactions we get from the people there." Still feeling wounded over the sound slaying of what I felt to be an important realization, I was fairly apathetic to what we did next. Aeron stepped into the next room with Lamianna to find something a bit more appropriate for a royal dinner. Pete, Liem and I just sat around and twiddle our thumbs while we waited. Finally, we went down, Aeron clad in one of Lamianna's shirts, which came down to about Aeron's knees. Pete seemed a bit confused at us going to a second dinner, saying only, "You people sure do eat a lot." I must admit, we certainly did draw a reaction, though not quite what we expected. I felt more like I was part of a travelling freak show rather than a visiting dignitary hoping to get a guilty reaction from some party. Lamianna and Liem were led to seats at the main table, while the rest of us poor slobs were led to a table off to the side. I realized as I sat that all the people at my table were denizens from out in shadow. It made me feel like I was 8 years old again, sitting at the children's table on a feast day. Why ever do we trade with these people? King Random, who sat at the head of the main table, asked Lamianna to introduce her "unusual friends". We each stood and introduced ourselves, and I graced His Majesty with the introduction of "Lord Egon of Weirmonken." Random apparently recognized my name and said, "Ah, yes, you were wanting an audience weren't you?" How nice of him to remember. "Why, yes Your Majesty." "Come by tomorrow and I will have time to meet with you." "Thank you, Your Majesty." If nothing else, I must commend Lamianna on this one. We all resumed our seats, and I picked at my food, feeling fairly full from my first dinner. It was then that a man dressed in the garb of what seemed reminiscent of the Courts of Chaos entered and approached Random, claiming to have a message. There was something odd and... unstable looking about this man. I don't mean that he looked like a neurotic basket case, but rather that he looked like he was having trouble maintaining his form. Shapeshifting gone wrong. It was just as I was thinking these thoughts that the man burst into and explosion of noise and color, leaving a crater in the floor and unconscious bodies strewn about him. Among them was King Random, ruining any hopes of me actually getting that audience. I flew up out of my chair, my sword clearing its sheath. For those who couldn't tell, this was a good reason to draw one's blade in panic. I saw similar people doing the same. Liem went to stand next to Benedict, and Aeron went over to Lamianna. I positioned myself between Pete and the rest of the room, adopting a "don't-you-dare-fuck-with-me" expression towards the rest of the room. However, this expression devolved into a double take as I noticed Pete engaged in a happy little bit of carefree childish exploration on the other side of the room. For the slow readers, he was no longer behind me. An expression of wrath mixed with chagrin drifted onto my face, much like the expression seen on every adult's face who is fighting hard not to kill a small child. It was then that Lamianna stepped up and offered to trump me out. In her hand was a card depicting a beach scene with a bamboo and grass hut in the background. I dimly recalled Aeron disappearing in a wash of prismatic colors while I was gawking like a mooncalf at the loss of Pete. Not knowing what else to do, I leaped at the opportunity, staring at the card and stepping through. It was then that two nasty thoughts occurred to me: The first being that me disappearing would likely look very bad. The second being that Lamianna may in fact be the one behind this whole bloody mess. Damn them Amberites.
I found myself standing on a beach, with Aeron standing nearby, and some dark skinned natives kicking what I hoped was a ball around. A few moments later, Pete appeared beside me in a wash of colors. Feeling pretty irate about the whole situation, I stalked off to the hut, which I presumed to be Lamianna's, with the natives regarding me curiously from their game. I rummaged about the rather spacious hut looking for food without results. Aeron and Pete both followed behind me, and as I came out, I found the natives proffering bowls of some yellow monstrosity while regarding us as though we were gods. Having just sat through two dinners, I wasn't feeling very peckish, but took the bowl anyway, in case I got hungry later. I took a small nap later, and spent probably a day slumming about and avoiding further bowls of that yellow crap, choosing instead to gorge myself on fish and coconuts. After a day of leisure, Lamianna showed up with news from Amber. Prince Merlin was apparently suffering from a bout of being in small chunks, while the King Random was in a coma, and Martin appeared to be a bit upset by the situation. "Anything interesting happen while I was gone?" she asked when she was done. "I saw a shark," I commented, and was rewarded with a look for my efforts. "Thank you very much for your hospitality, and taking us out of that situation," Aeron pronounced with her usual degree of bland verbosity. Lamianna then added, "Oh, and there will be a 'Family Meeting' tomorrow." Pete, with a trace of wonder, said, "They're all family?" "Yes they are," replied Lamianna in her typically formal tone. "Is there anyway we may assist you in resolving issues in the castle?" Aeron asked, while I took a three word nap in the midst of her intonation. "Well, I suppose I could put you in livery and have you snoop about for me, if you'd like." Pete, his mind apparently wandered from the vast size of Amber's festering brood, asked, "So why did that guy explode?" "Well," said Lamianna with much thought, "he was sort of a puppet. Does that make any sense?" "No," I replied, for no other reason than to be an ass. Pete, shuffling thoughts once again, inquired, "Will there be a war?" "That may very well be," Lamianna said sadly. Lamianna offered to trump those of us who wanted to back to Amber. Not wanting to go the long way about things, I jumped at the offer and soon found myself in front of the castle. I headed back to the embassy, then, to freshen up and consult with my advisors. The best of my magical advisors could offer me little more regarding the case of the exploding man than, "It must be some sort of spell." I was in the midst of listening to their half-assed explanations of how they thought magic worked, when I felt some dark power grip hold of me, and drag me through dark twisting places before finding myself in the same room as Pete, Liam, and the Princess Fiona, with myself hanging from what I'd wager to be a Logrus tendril. I'd drawn my sword mid-pull, and tried to have my most indignant expression on my face as I sliced my enchanted blade, Carnifex, through the tendril. I dropped, and Liam looked less than happy. Straightening, I bowed slightly to the Princess while Liam set about sending another tendril out in search of something. "Have you found your kingdom yet?" Fiona asked me. "No," I answered with as much venom as I could to what I felt was a bit of unnecessary sarcasm. "I'm sure it will turn up." "Thank you, Your Highness." "Oh, no," she said with a slight grin. "I'm not 'Your Highness'. Yet." "And what would you prefer, my lady?" "My lady will do." Pete, who had looked rather non-plussed at his predicament, asked, "Can I leave now?" just as Aeron appeared by means of a tendril. "No," was Fiona's only reply before she turned to Aeron. "And you were...?" Aeron, looking a bit confused, asked, "I was what?" Pursing her lips, Fiona elaborated it to: "Your name." "Oh, Aeron." "I see. Now, perhaps we should return to the meeting in the other room," Fiona suggested before being cut off by Aeron. "May I speak?" Aeron asked. "Yes," said Fiona, as Pete maneuvered behind her and began making faces. "How did we get here?" "He," I replied, indicating Liam, "is a demon." Liam looked at me with far more ire than I normally would have expected. "You know that isn't the right word." Then, to Aeron, he said, "It's a trick from where I come from." Aeron, a bit confused, said, "So it a bit of charlatan work? A façade? A prestidigitation?" "No, something a bit different." That settled, Fiona led us into the next room, where Martin, Caine, Gerard, Bleys and a few other Amberites sat. Random was notably absent. Martin said to Fiona, "Will you do the honors?" Fiona nodded and produced a dagger saying, "I need a sample of blood from each of you." "My blood," I said icily, "is occupied at the moment." Pete, looking more put out than before, asked, "What do you want it for?" "A test," was Fiona's only answer. "Are you trying to start an international incident?" I asked. Fiona flippantly retorted, "Why don't you report it to your king?" I felt my muscles tense up in anticipation of throttling her when she added gracefully, "Look at it this way: You have your audience with the King." Trying to add an extra notch of frigidity to my voice, I replied slowly, "I don't see the King here." Fiona pointed to Martin, and I slowly shifted my frosty glare to the boy while ignoring Caine's query of, "Can we just kill him now?" Liam and I both bled for the cause into chalices, Liam being expected to donate a good pint while a few drops sufficed for me. Amberites are such sick bastards. When it came to be Pete's turn, he chose to run. Fiona moved to intercept him, but found herself falling down and clutching at one of her shins after he kicked her. He made a dash for the door, but the guards outside caught him just as Benedict approached. Fiona called out a request for a blood sample, and faster than the eye could trace Benedict drew his sword, sliced Pete's arm, whipped the blade so that any excess fluids would slide off, and resheathed, all before blood started to well up on Pete's arm. After getting what they needed, they bandaged up Pete. I was nearly floored by that degree of generousity. Fiona then produced a deck of cards from a pocket and explained, "These are special trumps I've created. Trumps contain a piece of the Pattern, and in the case of these cards, the Pattern has been enhanced." Dealing out one card, she drops it into the chalice of Liam's blood, what it burst into flames and sprayed blood all over the place. Fiona commented, "I'm not certain what that means." Next she poured a libation of Aeron's blood onto another trump where it calmly sizzled. "That looks like a positive to me," Fiona said. I realized I'd almost been anticipating what would happen, since I had no idea what would happen when an initiate of the Dark Well had his blood come into contact with that much Pattern. I was only slightly disappointed when it did nothing but splatter. It did earn a smirk from Fiona though. Bitch. Pete's blood burned slightly when it hit the card. Fiona's running commentary on this one was, "I have no idea what this means. You're right, Bleys. He is strange." "I'm strange?" Pete protested. "You're the ones collecting blood!" "Does this conclude your little experiments?" I asked Fiona, returning to my indignant manner. "Yes." "So I may go?" Caine retorted, "I was under the impression you had nowhere to go." I turned and regarded Caine with a steely glare, vowing to myself that Amber would rue, if nothing else, its lack of diplomacy to one of it's sworn allies in a time of trouble. I stalked out of the room, one of the last things I heard being Pete asking, "Can I stand by your throne, where a floppy hat, and do tricks?" As I passed Liam, I informed him tersely, "I can be reached at the embassy. Through mundane means." I spent the remainder of the day being pretty pissed and bawling out my councilors to vent my frustrations. The thought occurred to me to just abandon my post and seek out my homeland without official help from our distinguished "allies". Several hours later, Lamianna, followed by the rest of our little gang from the standing stones were at my doorstep. Pete was wearing a jester's cap and carrying a matching "fool's scepter". "We've decided to find your shadow," Lamianna explained. "Is this alright with you?" "Is this a trick question?" I asked, feeling shocked, sarcastic, and suspicious. "No," replied Liam. "We just wanted to reinforce your smile." I favored the Lord of Chaos with a look normally reserved for the totally insane, noting to myself, "Liam: loopy." Lamianna noted that she felt my shadow was somehow involved in recent events, and that by finding my shadow, we could find the secret behind a number of things. She then suggested, "We should trump out to shadow, and then walk from there to save time." I consented, so long as I didn't need to imbibe any more yellow... gunk. From there, we proceeded to walk through shadow. I could probably have steered my way through, but I wanted to keep that ability under wraps for the time being. And so I was asked to describe my homeland to Lamianna, with all of us sticking close together to avoid losing someone off in shadow. And so I turned my back, thinking of the row upon row of mountains, the pale blue sky, much lighter than that of Amber, and the forests that were much darker and sinister than those found in Arden. I recounted the peaked roofs of our villages, the cobble stone walls of our cities. And the wolves. How could I ever forget the wolves? At one point Pete asked me if there were dragons in Weirmonken. I mentally reviewed the list of the much reputed "dark things from out of Weirmonken" and could not recall any dragons of the type I'm sure he meant. So I replied that I didn't believe so. After about a day of travel, Lamianna asked, "Are there standing stones in your shadow?" I realized a moment later that she asked because we were looking down at a circle of standing stones, with a dais in the center. Liam, Pete, and I walked down the hill to investigate, while Lamianna pulled out a sketch book for some purpose, and Aeron just basked in the radiance of Lamianna, which she'd been doing for some time now. When we got to the center, we found it to be much like the standing stones we once woke in, complete with tarot spread on the dais. Cursing inwardly, I walked back towards the edge and ran into the resistance encountered with the previous one. "Egon," Liam said, "is it...?" "Yes, we're trapped," I said as casually as possible. "Oh, good," he answered distractedly and went back to examining the cards on the dais. I favored him once again with that look that I usually reserve, adding an underline to the word "loopy" in my mental notebook. Liam fished out a sketch of someone and began talking to someone. After a moment, he turned to us and asked us if we'd like to trump out to Lamianna. I leaped at the notion, but Pete replied, "We could look at this a little longer, you know." "I'd rather look from the outside," I said, feeling a little claustrophobic. So, I stepped through the trump of Lamianna, while Liam and Pete remained in the standing stones. Liam proceeded to make another trump call, and I rather wished I was in a position to evesdrop. Pete, meanwhile, was investigating the circle. Lamianna called out to Liam, "Are you finished?" Liam nodded, but Pete seemed to still be peering at the rocks. "Are you coming Pete?" she called to the boy. "Not yet..." Pete replied. Right before whacking the stone with his jester's staff. We watched for a while as he made some shadow puppets, and then skipped in a circle. Lamianna at one point summoned the image of the Pattern before her, likely watching to see if the child was doing anything unusual on a less than mundane level. Sighing, she asked, "Are you done yet?" Her patience was obviously wearing thin. Pete, looking quite put out, replied, "Do we have to leave yet?" "Well, yes. Would you prefer walking through the woods rather than near the coast?" Pete at last consented, and we set off through the woods a while longer. After a bit more walking, Lamianna thought to find ourselves a place to stay, and so she led us through shadow to a hotel of some sort in a middling level of technology shadow. We spent the night, got to freshen up, and had a tasty meal. Pete and Aeron were obviously overwhelmed by the whole thing. The next day, since I'd pointed out that Weirmonken had a low level of steam technology, we boarded a train, and we moved from car to car, trying to match what seemed familiar from my memories of riding on a train. At one point, the train ground to a halt. Through the windows, we saw that it was night outside, and a fiery man on a fiery horse was riding towards the train. Which we all decided boded ill, so we went on to the next car, and hence the next shadow, only to discover that terrorists had taken out the train tracks in that shadow, and they were waiting for a repair crew. Curses, foiled. So Lamianna led us back a car, and we found ourselves again viewing the flaming equestrian bearing down on us, only now there were hordes of wolves at his back. Liam hopped out of the train there, proclaiming that this is the shadow we're looking for. Adding a few more mental underscores to the word "loopy", Aeron and I followed at a discreet pace. Aeron only followed, because Lamianna had directed her to. The young child of Amber was choosing to investigate the other side of the train. As Liam stepped outside of the train, his clothing began to look less like clothing and more like a spiky armor. I noticed as I dismounted from the train and drew my blade that some sort of serpent was working its way into the engine. He drew his blades, and stood near the train waiting for the horseman, sidestepping at the last minute as the fiery being drew near. Unfortunately, the rider and his mount vaulted over the train, leaving us to deal with several wolves. Liam and Aeron were doing quite well at dispatching wolves, but I knew it wouldn't be long before the animals made it back to me. I'm loath to kill a wolf, but I didn't feel like fighting off hordes of them. So I spoke the triggering words for a spell. From underneath the train came a horde of small rodents with razor sharp teeth and a taste for flesh. These were the Gerbils of Doom. The swarmed out, hundreds upon hundreds, and attacked the wolves with ruthless abandon. The wolves were bigger, but they were grossly out numbered. In short time, the wolves were no more. Liam decided to head for the other side of the train to help Lamianna in whatever she was doing, and hopefully take out the flame enshrouded warrior. I entered the train in time to see Lamianna stumble in, looking worse for wear, and Liam appearing on the other side of the train, a bit startled to see no one over there but a writhing darkness and a fiery horseman. Despite Liam's waning mental faculties, he certainly proved to be quite the fighter. I had hoped to get a clear shot for another spell, but with no such luck. After some time, Liam won out, the darkness faded and the warrior nothing more than a charred husk. Turning to those of us who were watching, he called out, "Covered on this end! Told you I'd get him." I offered a dry, "Hoorah" and turned back to the train. Lamianna led us back to an earlier shadow, and we decided to get some rest in our own sleeper car. I took a brief visit to the privy, and examined the shadow through the Dark Well. I realized that I was actually in Weirmonken, and that the wolves I had slain were probably our own natives.
My bit of quality time in the privy was cut short as troops began to board the train. Don't ask, because I don't know. They were large, blue, and strangely proportioned, seeming very muscular with overlong arms. Giant blue pig-gorillas, I suppose. "Out of the train!" they demanded in gutteral tones. "And why is that?" I asked civilly. "Orders. Move!" So Pete and I did. We were about the only two left, Lamianna and Aeron apparently having had to depart while I was taking a load off. No pun intended. We were led out and placed in a holding pen. I could have left any time I wanted, with a bit of magic, but it would have involved leaving Pete behind. Besides, I wanted to see what this was all about. I tried passing time by talking to the guards, but they seemed fairly unwilling to talk. At one point I noticed a small dragon, fairly similar to Ignius flitting about. Pete noticed it as well and commented that it belonged to a man named Harlok. I vaguely remembered the loathesome pirate from a few days prior. He had been present for my public bleeding exhibition and struck me as being a rather unpleasant fellow. So, there I sat, twiddling my thumbs, when Harlok himself came around to our own little dingy corner of the world. "Friends! My apologies!" he said in tones that made me want to kill him outright. "Please allow me to offer you some recompensation for your troubles." As politely as I could, I replied, "I'm feeling a bit peckish." So we were led back into the train, to one of the less bloodstained dining cars (apparently Harlok's troops from shadow were not quite as gentle as some would have prefered). Harlok began fishing through the cupboards, seeking something to eat. "So what brings you to these parts?" Harlok asked, trying his best to sound conversational. "Lamianna," I replied as I ate. "But she was unfortunately called away for business in Amber." Harlok looked like he was about to make a derisive comment regarding Lamianna, but was cut off by Pete asking, "So what are you doing here?" "Family business," he replied, as though the universe revolved around his family. "Nothing major. I've just been tracking an army through shadow." Well whoopie for you, I thought to my self. "Are they from here?" Pete persisted. "I'm not certain," Harlok replied with a certain feigned attempt at sounding like he was hiding information. "So, Egon. Do you know of someplace to rest around here?" Feigning ignorance of my location, I replied, "That depends. Where am I?" "Why, your own little Weirmonken!" he replied, as though he were responsible for my delivery. "How opportune," I said drily. "I'd take you to somewhere, but I have no bearings at the moment." "Would you like me to take you back to Amber, instead?" "No, not at all. I'd prefer to explore." It was at that moment that a guard led Bleys and a stranger I hadn't met before. "You must see these people," the guard said in a foggy state of mind. Frowning, Harlok said, "Greetings Uncle Bleys, Aramis. May I offer you some refreshment?" Bleys nodded, and took a sip of a proffered beer, making a disgusted face at the taste of it. I saw the label and recognized it as a popular brew in Weirmonken. The pigs. "So many people seem to be here right now. What are you doing here, Harlok?" Bleys asked. "I'm on an errand for Benedict," replied the brigand. "And what are you doing for my brother?" "Some minor recognizance." "My, that seems odd." "True," assented Harlok. "It's one of his little tasks he needed done." Bleys nodded and turned to Pete. "Hello young Pete." "Hello sir." Turning to address both Pete and I, he said, "And are you two running an errand for Benedict as well?" "No, we're just sight seeing." "But, aren't you aware that this is your own Weirmonken?" "So I've been told," I replied tersely, wanting nothing more than to be rid of these damned Amberites. "I should have thought the wolves would have clued you in." I shrugged noncommittally, feeling ill at ease about having gerbilled the wrong side of the battle. "Isn't there some connection between wolves and the royal family of Weirmonken?" Bleys asked further, obviously baiting me. "Aside from them being like children of the night?" Bleys gave me a sneering, almost contemptuous grin at my little bit of humor. Then he turned to talk to Harlok while this "Aramis" introduced himself to me. I rather liked Aramis. He was soft-spoken, down to earth, and had no ego problems that I could discern. In short, he was nothing like your standard Amberite. "I was following an army through shadow and ended up here," Harlok was saying as I focused my attention back on him and Bleys. "And you?" he directed towards Bleys. "Aramis brought me here," Bleys replied simply. Bleys then made ready to depart. I managed to fish a direction out of him for which way to go to find civilization before he announced, "I shall now return to Amber to report good news." I gathered up my belongs and headed out. Pete, having nothing better to do, decided to follow me, and we had Ignius do a little advance scouting. We'd been walking for only a short time when Aramis caught up. He apparently wanted to see more of Weirmonken, and wanted to come along. After tiring of walking for a while, Aramis suggested that there may be some horses we could nab, and around the next bend there certainly were, their owners off skinny dipping. We rode off with their shouts of protest chasing after us. Along the way Pete and Aramis asked me about the trade practices of Weirmonken, so I spent some time discoursing on our rapidly growing trees which lend a rapidly renewing source of lumber, as well as our mineral rich mountains that we mine. It was something to pass the time. Several hours more of riding brought us no closer to anything familiar, so finally I decided to toss caution to the wind, summoned the image of the Dark Well, and began taking a short cut through shadow. It's always a hellish process to do any travel through shadow with the Broken Pattern, and this was certainly no exception. We descended down a short decline into a nasty swamp filled with disease bearing insects, large man eating lizards, and rodents of unusual size. The last of which Aramis for some reason denied believing the existence of. Fortunately, Ignius was an expert fryer of bugs, and everything else steered clear of us. We emerged on the other side of the swamp near the capital city of Wulfenberg, only to see it besieged by what would best be described as demonic forces. Hideous winged monstrosities darted around over the city, while hellish looking creatures and fuligin armored men chased people and wolves alike around the city. Recalling the battle at the train, I regretted my earlier haste in killing the wolves. Brandishing my blade, I charged down the hill while Aramis and Pete stayed behind, disposing of the creatures harrying one of the wolves. The wolf was just a normal wolf, but seemed very happy to have been rescued, and positively delighted to see me. From what I could gather from his frenzied barking, these dark creatures had laid siege to the city. Sighing, I told the wolf to find what survivors there were, and have them meet me at a village near town at dawn. Tiredly, I rode back up the hill to where Aramis and Pete waited for me. I'd spent most of the local night travelling through shadow, and most of the day riding through the woods of my native land. And now I had to face the prospect of spending the whole night hanging spells appropriate for a rag tag siege against impossible forces. I talked to Aramis briefly, as he had apparently scouted through the city with the image of the Pattern, and detected what he described as a "big, blobby, reality warping creature" that all the other creatures seemed to report to. So, I went off to a quiet spot to begin hanging spells. I was several hours into it when the wolf I'd talked to earlier broke my concentration, causing me to lose the spell I was working on. He had to inform me that someone was making a counter siege on the city, and that things were pretty scary seeming. I went back to where I'd left Aramis and Pete, only to find Harlok and some of his blue soldiers observing things. I could see, in the distance, more blue troops attacking everything in site, while in the air above the town some small but berserk birds were attacking the black winged creatures, while creatures that I can only describe as a combination of a zeppelin and a whale were swallowing everything in site. "What the fuck are you people doing to my city?" I exclaimed. Harlok looked over at me distractedly. "Oh, hello there. We're liberating it." It was then that one of Harlok's men came back to report from the front. Most of the enemies had been killed, but some wolves were proving difficult to kill so they were knocking them out and putting them in a pile. From the description, I knew that they must be the weir, the shapeshifting nobles of Weirmonken, who are immune to all but silver and the most potent of magics. Enraged, I drew my blade and swung out in one smooth motion, stopping only when I'd reached the far side of the messenger. Harlok turned back to his messenger in time to see the head roll one way, while the body fell the other way, geysering up blood from it's stump of a neck. I shook the blood off my blade and resheathed it. Looking a little stunned, Harlok called a messenger over and told him to send word that the wolves are to be left alone. With the troops cleared out, we decided to investigate the remains of the city in general, and the big, blobby, reality warping creature in specific. A bit of walking found us at the front of what used to be a government building, with what was, indeed, some big, black blob of a thing. Going through the few spells I managed to rack before I got called away, I launched what I lovingly call Electric Boogaloo into the building. It squelched and screamed as ball lighting ricocheted through it's more tender bits before the spell grounded itself out. It proceeded to squidge out the side of the building, and made a slimy retreat, several spots on its body having been reduced to puss filled sores from my attack. Harlok stepped up next, sending a few ill-fated sorties at the blob with his blue men. After several had died, none were willing to try it again. I made an attempt at altering the stuff of shadow, and changing the blobby into harmless gelatin, but the vast size of the creature prevented me from changing a significant part, and it reverted back quite easily. Aramis brought to mind the image of the Pattern, apparently hoping to contact it mentally. When he began talking in some incomprehensible tongue and drooling, I knocked him out. I was just about to begin working on a spell that would blow the blob into bite sized bits, when a rainbow of color began to surround it just before it disappeared, leaving a polychromatic after image. Cursing, I set about trying to see how Aramis was doing.
So there I was, in Weirmonken, aiding in the reconstruction of our capital. Aramis was still out cold, and Harlok had departed for parts unknown. As I reclined after a long day of work, I felt a cold chill sweep over me, much like what I'd imagined a trump contact would be like.
I opened my mind it to it, and saw only darkness beyond. "You should not have killed him," a voice from beyond said. "He was one of my favorites."
"I beg your pardon?" was all I could think to say.
"See how you like this," the voice continued to say. From the corner of my eye, I caught movement. The moon, which had been full, slowly began to go to gibbous, to half, to a crescent, and then finally was gone. I could feel it's loss, down in the very core of my being. It was very truly gone. And so was the trump contact. Up from the city came the sounds of anguished howling. The moon was the source of our power, and that which granted the royal family it's ability to change shape, was gone. I felt the stirrings of another trump contact, and again opened my mind to it. "Alright, asshole. I'm pretty fucking amused. Now give me back the moon!" As Lamianna's features came into focus, she said with a look a slight confusion, "I refuse to show my buttocks to you." "Sorry," I replied. "I thought you were someone else." "So I assumed," she replied drily. "Are you bringing me through?" she asked, as though it were the obvious course of action. "Sure." "So," she said as she sat down in my quarters. "What have I missed?" With a deep sigh, I filled her in on what had happened, starting with the departure from the train, the mention of the besieged city, and the "assistance" from Aramis and Harlok. I could only sum up the results of the last with, "Chaos ensued." "I see no crater," she remarked dryly. "Ho-ho," I said, in reply to her weak joke. "Hee-hee," she countered. "Ha-ha," said an all too familiar voice through the door. It opened to reveal Harlok, letting himself in. Pleasantries were exchanged, and I continued with my narrative, up through the theft of the moon. Lamianna asked, "So, do you have any plans besides the moon? And will the wolves continue howling?" I shrugged. "Well, my plans at the moment are the rebuilding of the city, and the recovery of the moon. That's about it. As for the wolves... I don't know. This has never happened before." Harlok jumped in with, "I think I can help. You see, I believe the ones responsible for the theft of your moon are the same ones I've been following through shadow. Would you be willing to aid in an attack on them?" Like a fool, I decided to trust him. I went out among my people and recruited those who would be willing to join us in battle. Fifty brave wolves volunteered, and we returned to join Harlok to trump out to the location of his troops near the enemy army. Gathering up Harlok's blue-skinned warriors, we continued on out through shadow until we found ourselves confronting the mass of Orkish armies. What can I say? It was a slaughter. On both sides. All my wolves fell in battle, and many of the Orks fell as well. We captured one of their colonels. I don't recall his name now, especially since we just refered to him as "Bob". We set up a camp and brought him into the main tent to interogate him. The first thing we learned was that their armies were led by someone named Borcrug. As for why they were fighting other armies out in shadow, Bob proclaimed, "We are fighting the armies of the winged devil!" "Who writes your material?" I asked with some exasperation. He just looked at me blankly. "How do you guys get in touch with old Borcrug?" "Oh, we use messengers." "What about in an emergency?" Harlok queried. Bob just shrugged helplessly. Harlok broke one of Bob's fingers.
"Why do you fight the armies of the winged devil?" Lamianna asked when he stopped crying.
"Because their evil!" Bob replied.
"What is it that makes them so evil?"
"They try to destroy us."
"Why do they try to destroy you?"
"Because they're evil!"
Bob lost another finger after that, while the rest of us just sort of sighed.
When he got himself together again, he said desperately, "I have a secret I can give you!"
Harlok replies, "Well, if it's good, we'll reward you highly. If not... you lose another finger."
"Will you take me to paradise?"
Harlok thought a moment and shrugged. "Sure, why not."
Hesitating, Bob finally said, "Borcrug speaks to light in the sky. Light named 'Ares'."
As Harlok was debating whether or not to snap another of Bob's fingers, a guard came to the tent with urgent news. We were about to ask what it was, when an orc blade skewered him. It was then that we noticed the sounds of battle near the camp. We fought our way out, and I used what spells I had left to kill off large swaths of the now combined orc and troll army. Above the battle we saw a shining light and a hooded man on the back of some winged creature.
After some time, it began to look as though we were fighting a losing battle, and so, gathering Lamianna, Harlok, and Bob nearby, we teleported back to Weirmonken.
Harlok and Lamianna gave me a few minutes to console the widows of the fallen before we trumped back to Lamianna's tropical shadow.
"Why were the trolls and orcs all chummy all of a sudden?" I asked Bob as soon as we got settled in.
"I don't know!" he replied desperately, likely in fear of Harlok getting his mitts on another of Bob's fingers.
"Why did Borcrug change his mind about the winged devil?" Lamianna asked.
"I don't know! Ares might have told him to do it.... I just don't know! When do I get to go to Paradise?"
"Why, this is Paradise," Harlok replied.
Bob, obviously confused, asked, "Where are the rivers of blood and the piles of dead humans?"
"Over the next hill."
Apparently satisfied, Bob calmed down.
"So what other armies do you know of?" Harlok asked.
"Um... there's the slime devil and his guys in black armor and his dragon... and the winged woman's flying army. She was supposed to be our next enemy."
"How long have you guys been fighting?" Lamianna asked.
"Many moons," replied Bob after some thought.
"Don't get jealous," Harlok jibed to me. I aimed a kick his way, but he nimbly stepped aside.
"What's the name of the flying woman?" Harlok asked.
"Lintra the Hellmaid."
"Interesting name," mused Lamianna. "Wonder how she got it."
"Maybe they named her after you," I replied.
Ignoring me, Lamianna turned to Harlok. "How many hellmaids have you known?"
"Including you? The only one I know of is Lintra, who once cost Benedict his arm, and allegedly died in battle."
"Think we should trump Benedict and let him know she's back?" Lamianna asked.
"Do you want to be the poor fool who does it?"
We stood there largely in silence for a bit until Harlok suggested, "Maybe we should just draw straws..."
As soon as those words left Harlok's mouth, I knew I should have bolted and run as fast as I could away. Instead I joined everyone else as they drew straws.
Guess who got the short one. Harlok, of course, plays dirty.
As I focused on the card depicting Benedict, his image became clear. "Who's there...?"
I hesitated, being more than a bit afraid of the legend known as Benedict. For a moment, I forgot my name. "Egon," I said at least. "Of Weirmonken."
"Where did you get my trump?" he asked, sounding mildly annoyed.
"Lamianna," I answered truthfully.
Sounding a bit suspicious, he asked, "Why isn't she contacting me herself?"
"We draw straws. I got the short one." Truth is sometimes a beautiful thing.
"Bring me through," he finally said, sounding exasperated.
Grinning inwardly, I brought him through, and increased the fear in the room by a notch.
"Now," he said. "What is this all about?"
Lamianna and Harlok basically took it from here. They explained everything they'd seen off in shadow, as well as the appearance of Borcrug, Ares, and Lintra.
When we were done, Benedict simply stood there, as though mentally processing.
Suddenly, and quite simply, he said, "Shit."
Drawing out his trump deck, he shuffled through it and trumped out while we all stood with our jaws getting neighborly with our ankles. |
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